Wise Tips for New Parents

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

We asked our Sage Mamas and Papas to share one piece of advice out of their experience that they would like to share with others. Here are some excerpts — Enjoy !

• I’m a sage mama and my piece of advice to expecting sage mamas is to enjoy every minute of that pregnancy. Those 40 weeks feel like they take forever but it’s such a blessed time and it may be your only time feeling it!

• Cherish every moment as they are learning experiences for both Mom & babies that you’ll never forget.

• Savor every moment while baby is still a baby. Time flies and baby grows fast!

• I am the mama of 2 baby boys who are 13 months apart. Aaron is now 22 months and Hunter is almost 9 months. One thing I have learned with having 2 babies so close in age is that when they are both having a break down – always go to your older one first. They will remember if you ignore them and they will get jealous of the little one.

copyright   2011 Rachael Flug/SageMamas

Newborn Parenting Tips

Tips for New MomsTalk to other mamas…..they often can give the best advice from an experienced standpoint…..

Nothing is ever “by the book” so it helps to get advice, opinions and ideas from others who have been there. But remember that every baby is unique in their own way. Always listen to your inner wisdom but be awake to the wisdom that others have to share.

With much gratitude to all the Mamas who took the time to care and share …

From our Community of Sage Mamas

  • My advice to expecting mamas… cherish every minute of your new little bundle of joy. Take pictures and write him/her notes before he/she arrives. Keep your camera in your back pocket.. you never know when he/she will do something you’ll wanna catch on camera. They grow so fast so never take a moment for granted!
  • I’m a sage mama and my piece of advice to expecting sage mamas is to enjoy every minute of that pregnancy. Those 40 weeks feel like they take forever but it’s such a blessed time and it may be your only time feeling it!
  • Cherish every moment as they are learning experiences for both Mom & babies that you’ll never forget.
  • Savor every moment while baby is still a baby. Time flies and baby grows fast!
  • I am the mama of 2 baby boys who are 13 months apart. Aaron is now 22 months and Hunter is almost 9 months. One thing I have learned with having 2 babies so close in age is that when they are both having a break down – always go to your older one first. They will remember if you ignore then and they will get jealous of the little one.
  • Don’t be set on parenting in one particular way, each child is so unique you will have to flex to figure out what works best for them. Also, be open to learning new things from other parents. There are a lot of wonderful things we do in our home that I would never have known to try had I not listened to what others shared with me. You might initially disagree with someone only to realize later you changed your mind and now agree! Summed up, be flexible and open to learning. Just like you probably hope your child will be!
  • Seems a little odd for me to say I’m giving advice, as my daughter is about to turn 5 months and I’m reading all the other posts to learn something too! But, my advice is a little different. You CAN successfully cloth diaper and do it from day one! I chose to wait a couple of weeks with my daughter and wish I hadn’t. I could have done it and I could have looked at all those people who smirked when I said I was going to cloth diaper my child and said, “Yes, I am!” Now, they all ask questions and want to learn about my daughter’s cute fluffy bum! Read messageboards, facebooks, etc. and try Sage Diaper! They’re super soft, absorbent, and cute!
  • As an expecting mama and a mama to a 18 month old, my advice is to do what YOU think is right. if it fails, then ask and be willing to accept what others tell you. not everything works for every child so it is trial and error. best of luck!
  • Learn all that you can from the so-called experts and then file all of their information away under “could potentially be useful”. At the end of the day, however, go with your gut. You know your baby, you and everyone’s needs best.
  • My advice would come from something I just did today-NEVER wipe your nose or any part of your face right after changing a poopy diaper that you didn’t get to clean your hands before hand. Gracie was squirming all over so it was a bit hard to change her-I had a massive itch by my nose that my shoulder wasn’t reaching. You get the point I am sure. Enjoy it all-they really do grow up fast!
  • You will come across all kinds of experts, that know what’s best for you’re child. They may have wise words, or helpful advice…but YOU are the expert. They are not the mother, or expert, of your child. Go with your gut. A mother’s instinct, is a powerful thing. People, can always find a way to judge you, or tell you what you’re not doing right. Surround yourself with people, who accept and love you. People who support your choices and parenting style.
  • I just had my 5th baby a few weeks ago, the best advice I can give is DONT try to be a supermom..put off things that can wait, like dishes..mopping the floor, dusting, etc…and REST, try to rest as much as possible, cuz if you dont, it’ll take MUCH longer to recover, and you’ll feel just awful. Get as much sleep as possible, and as much snugglin with your new bundle!
  • My advice to new moms is to remember that everyone has an opinion about how you should raise YOUR child but really, it is only YOUR opinion that matters. Try to listen to yourself. And don’t get upset with other people for giving unwanted advice – most times they don’t even realize what they are saying can be construed as criticism, most of the time they really mean well.
  • My advice to a new mama would be to put money aside for a nice babycarrier. If possible have a friend or someone who works at the store fit you for one. The benefits to both babe and mom are endless. We use our baby carrier every single day – whether we leave the house or not. My youngest daughter (6 months) has severe reflux, we couldn’t make it through the day without one! I definitely do not recommend a snuggli, munchkin or baby bjorn carrier. All are very hard on your back and do not promote good spine growth for your baby. It’s important to be informed on everything. Every baby is different. Good luck, and enjoy!  My daughter was also born with a sacrococcygeal teratoma (a tumor the same size she was) I can help any mom through a NICU stay (ours was 10 weeks) a preemie, or a baby who has delays, syndromes etc! My page is free to message to, I’ve never turned a mom away in need of help!

Wise Tips from Other Sage Mamas

Sage Diaper You may have heard, we recently hosted a fun contest from our Sage Mamas Facebook page (the contest ended 11/5). We asked Sage Mamas and Papas to share one piece of advice they would like to share with an Expecting Mama and/or Papa on our the Sage Mamas Facebook Page

In addition, we have put the call out for Expecting Mamas and/or Papas to leave one question or worry on the Sage Mamas Facebook page that they would love to have some input for a chance to win.

The result so far? Some of the most delightful and smart mama tips I have seen in one place. Here are just a few to share so far.  To see them all- check out the Sage Mamas Facebook page (and be prepared to take notes!).

A Sampling of Sage Mama Tips

  • First – Congratulations! What I’d like to share with you is this: These are the best days of your life. Some days you may cry and feel like you can’t do it, but you will laugh more and love more and cry tears of overwhelming joy, that make up for it all. These days go so quickly and, unfortunately, there is no “pause” button. So, take your time. Slow down. Soak in every moment. Everything else can wait. ♥
  • Be Prepared Ahead of Time! We didn’t have my bags packed yet and I went into labor 3 1/2 weeks early!  Totally unexpected. Also read the book “Happiest Baby on The Block” I didn’t and I ended up trying to read it after I had my baby!
  • My advice is to hold them as much as you can when they are little because it won’t last long. Let the housework slide and stay in your pjs. Baby is worth it.
  • My advice to expecting Mamas – is to take plenty of pictures of your babies. Make sure you record all the sweet memories and those firsts. It all goes by so fast!
  • Expecting Mamas — My advice is to get things ready EARLY, never know when your baby might come or you might be too big, uncomfortable, and tired to get all those last minute projects done!
  • I some advice is to take the time to just be with your child. And the teacher in me says read, read, read to your child from before birth and up. Plus talk with your child.. have conversations. Children have the funnest things to say!
  • I would say, you do not have to be perfect! It is ok to feel overwhelmed or to feel like you don’t know what you are doing. Babies learn thousands of things in the first year of life, but I think mamas learn millions! I enjoyed my second and third so much more because I felt more confidant and I finally realized that me loving them and being their mom is all they need!
  • My advice is to remind yourself (a thousand times a day, if need be) that every phase is temporary and the struggles you are facing now will pass, often sooner than you think. I learned this the first time immediately after my son was born. I was so sleep-deprived and hormonal that I felt like I didn’t know anything, couldn’t do anything right, would never sleep again, and clearly wasn’t cut out for parenthood. By the time he was six weeks old, the world seemed like a completely different (read: better) place. Since then, I’ve found that the easiest way to cope with developmental challenges is to give myself the “wait it out” pep talk and before I know it, he’s moved on to something else. Kids grow and change so fast and, thankfully, their issues do too! :-)
  • Read the book “Happiest Baby on The Block” . It was a tremendous help to me- however I didn’t read it until after the baby was born because I didn’t know about it! It’s much easier to read before the baby is born :) It will give you good advice to keep help you keep your baby calm and comforted
  • I’m expecting my second child in May and my first will be about 20 months when the baby is born. I’m looking for creative ideas to celebrate him being a big brother to minimize the jealousy he will feel over the new baby.

    Stress Free Shopping with Babies and Children? Tips to Make Shopping Easier

    ShoppingAsk any parent of a baby or a young child; and it is likely they have had at least one bad experience taking their child on a simple shopping errand.   How many times have you been in a store and observed a frazzled parent trying to get a handle on a temper tantrum from an overtired and overstimulated baby or child?

    We live in a world that tends to rush and operate at a hurried pace; and that presents big challenges to new parents.  What if  a simple shopping excursion can be turned into an opportunity to teach your child about the world outside our home?  I came across this article by Jan Hunt, founder of the popular parenting site: Natural Child- and felt this is something parents everywhere will appreciate.

    Though it is 20 years old, this article gives very practical and sage advice for any parent of families of all sizes and ages.  It is very much in line with Rachael and Abraham’s approach to patient parenting.  Enjoy!

    Ten Tips for Shopping with Children by Jan Hunt www.naturalchild.org

    1. Remember that children have limits. If you are shopping with children, be alert to their needs: are they tired, hungry, overexcited by the noise and confusion, or simply in need of fresh air and exercise, or a reassuring hug?

    2. Remember that children are naturally curious. Children are naturally curious; this is how they learn about the world around them. If they want to examine an attractive item, please don’t scold them. Instead, help them to hold the item safely, or let them know that it can be viewed but not touched. You might say “This is breakable, so let’s just look at it together.” Even if an item cannot be purchased, it can be helpful to share the child’s enthusiasm and interest in it.

    3. Shopping with infants…Shopping with an infant will be far easier if the trip is made after they are rested and have been fed. Babies and small children can become dehydrated in the dry air of shopping malls, so be sure to take frequent nursing or juice breaks.

    Babies are almost always happier when carried. A sling or carrier worn by the parent provides far more comfort and emotional security than a stroller or grocery cart. A small child-proof toy can help a baby to cope with the inevitably lessened attention from the parent, but remember to stop as often as possible and take a moment for gentle words, eye contact, and hugs.

    4. Shopping with toddlers…Toddlers can begin to be included in shopping decisions. Involving the child with questions such as “which of these peaches looks better to you?” can turn a boring, frustrating experience into a more pleasurable one, for both parent and child. Children of all ages enjoy and appreciate being able to make some of the product choices themselves. Bringing along juice, a favorite snack, and a well-loved picture book, or a newly-borrowed one from the library, can also be very helpful.

    Being surrounded by a crowd of adults can be intimidating to small children, especially when stores are busy. Using a backpack can be one way of bringing toddlers up to a height where they are more contented. It can also prevent the common, frightening experience of losing a toddler in a crowd.

    5. Shopping with older children…An older child can be a great help in shopping, if approached in a spirit of fun and appreciation. If the parent brings along clipped-out pictures of food from the newspaper grocery ads, the child can help to locate the item. Children mature enough to shop by themselves can help shorten the trip by finding items alone, returning periodically to put items into the cart.

    6. Avoid the crowds. Shopping just before dinner, when stores are crowded, and parents and children are tired and hungry, can be very stressful. Try shopping in the morning or early afternoon on weekdays, or move dinner up and shop during the quiet early-evening time between 6 and 7 PM. When we can avoid the stress of crowded stores and long check-out lines, we can have more energy and creativity for responding to our child’s needs.

    7. The check-out lane can be a challenge…Check-out lanes which have colorful, enticing gum and candy packages can be a real challenge, especially as they are encountered at the end of shopping, when both parent and child are most fatigued and hungry. Bringing a favorite healthful snack from home can allow an easy alternative: “That package looks pretty, but candy isn’t very nutritious. Here’s the oatmeal cookie and juice we brought.” Shopping at stores which have “child-proof” check-outs without candy can be well worth a longer drive. If there is no local store with such a check-out, you might suggest this feature to a store manager, promising to shop regularly if this option is made available.

    8. When you need to say “no”…The most important part of saying “no” is conveying to the child that we are on his or her side, even if we can’t satisfy all desires immediately. It might help to say, “That is nice, isn’t it? Take a good look and when we get home, we’ll add it to your wish list.” As the educator John Holt once said, “There is no reason why we cannot say ‘No’ to children in just as kind a way as we say ‘Yes’.” And remember that smiles, hugs, and cuddles are all free!

    9. If you reach your limit…If you reach the limit of your patience and energy, try to show by example positive ways of handling anger and fatigue. You might try saying, “I’m starting to lose my patience. I think I need a break from shopping for a bit. Let’s go outside for a few minutes so we can both get refreshed.” Even a few moments of fresh air away from the crowds can make a big difference for both parent and child.

    10. If your children reach their limit…If, after trying some of the above suggestions, your children have simply reached the end of their ability to handle any more errands, please respect that. Shopping can wait; an exhausted, hungry, or overly-excited child cannot

    Remember that all children behave as well as they are treated. A child who is regularly given our time, undivided attention, patience, and understanding will have more tolerance for a shopping trip – and any other challenging situation – than the child who must face stressful situations without this emotional support.

    Copyright © Jan Hunt, M.Sc.,1989.

    Photo Credit: http://health.slides.kaboose.com/156-feel-good-foods-organic-choices


    Tips for Easier Diaper Changes

    Gentle Baby Care  No-cry, No-fuss, No-worry--Essential Tips for Raising Your BabyThis is one of the many resource articles by expert authors located on the National Association of Diaper Services site (now affiliated with the Real Diaper Industry Association) that is meant to help parents overcome some the of common challenges of parenting young children.  This article is an excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley (McGraw-Hill, 2003) Enjoy!
    Stop the Diaper Changing Battles
    Babies are little bundles of energy! They don’t want to lie still to have their diapers changed. They cry, fuss, or even crawl away. A simple issue can turn into a major tug-of war between parent and baby.
    Diaper changing as a ritual The position of parent and baby during a diaper change is perfect for creating a bonding experience between you. You are leaning over your baby, and your face is at the perfect arms-length distance for engaging eye contact and communication. What’s more, this golden opportunity presents itself many times during each day; no matter how busy you both get, you have a few moments of quiet connection. It’s too valuable a ritual to treat itas simply maintenance.
    Learning about your baby Diapering offers a perfect opportunity for you to truly absorb your baby’s cues and signals. You’ll learn how his little body works, what tickles him, what causes those tiny goose bumps. As you lift, move, and touch your baby, your hands will learn the map of his body and what’s normal for him. This is important because it will enable you to easily decipher any physical changes that need attention.
    Developing trust: Regular diaper changes create rhythm in your baby’s world and afford the sense that the world is safe and dependable. They are regular and consistent episodes in days that may not always be predictable. Your loving touches teach your baby that he is valued, and your gentle care teaches him that he is respected.
    A learning experience for your baby Your baby does a lot of learning during diaper changes. It’s one of the few times that she actually sees her own body without clothes, when she can feel her complete movements without a wad of diaper between her legs. Diaper-off time is a great chance for her to stretch her limbs and learn how they move.
    During changing time, your baby is also a captive audience to your voice, so she can focus on what you are saying and how you are saying it — an important component of
    her language learning process. Likewise, for a precious few minutes, you are her captive audience, so you can focus on what she’s saying and how she is saying it — crucial to the growth of your relationship.
    What your baby thinks and feels Many active babies could not care less if their diapers are clean. They’re too busy to concern themselves with such trivial issues. It may be important to you, but it’s not a priority for your child.
    Diaper rash or uncomfortable diapers (wrong size or bad fit) can make him dread diaper changes, so check these first. Once you’re sure all the practical issues are covered, make a few adjustments in this unavoidable process to make it more enjoyable.
    Take a deep breath Given the number of diapers you have to change, it’s possible that what used to be a pleasant experience for you has gotten to be routine, or even worse, a hassle. When parents approach diaper changing in a brisk, no-nonsense way, it isn’t any fun for Baby.
    Try to reconnect with the bonding experience that diaper changing can be — a moment of calm in a busy day when you share one-on-one time with your baby.
    Have some fun
    This is a great time to sing songs, blow tummy raspberries, or do some tickle and play. A little fun might take the dread out of diaper changes for both of you. A game that stays fresh for a long time is “hide the diaper.” Put a new diaper on your head, on your shoulder, or tucked in your shirt and ask, “Where’s the diaper? I can’t find it!” A fun twist is to give the diaper a name and a silly voice, and use it as a puppet. Let the diaper call your child to the changing station and have it talk to him as you change it. (If you get tired of making Mister Diaper talk, just remember what it was like before you tried the idea.)
    Use distraction Keep a flashlight with your changing supplies and let your baby play with it while you change him. Some kids’ flashlights have a button to change the color of the light, or shape of the ray. Call this his “diaper flashlight” and put it away when the change is complete. You may find a different type of special toy that appeals to your little one, or even a basket of small interesting toys. If you reserve these only for diaper time, they can retain their novelty for a long time.
    Try a stand-up diaper If your baby’s diaper is just wet (not messy), try letting her stand up while you do a quick change. If you’re using cloth diapers, have one leg pre-pinned so that you can slide it on like pants, or opt for pre-fitted diapers that don’t require pins.
    Time to potty train? If your child is old enough and seems ready for the next step, consider potty training.

    Changing the DiaperThis is one of the many resource articles by expert authors located on the National Association of Diaper Services site (now affiliated with the Real Diaper Industry Association) that is meant to help parents overcome some the of common challenges of parenting young children.  This article is an excerpt from Gentle Baby Care by Elizabeth Pantley (McGraw-Hill, 2003) Enjoy!

    Stop the Diaper Changing Battles By Elizabeth Pantley, Author of Gentle Baby Care

    Babies are little bundles of energy! They don’t want to lie still to have their diapers changed. They cry, fuss, or even crawl away. A simple issue can turn into a major tug-of war between parent and baby.

    Diaper changing as a ritual: The position of parent and baby during a diaper change is perfect for creating a bonding experience between you. You are leaning over your baby, and your face is at the perfect arms-length distance for engaging eye contact and communication. What’s more, this golden opportunity presents itself many times during each day; no matter how busy you both get, you have a few moments of quiet connection. It’s too valuable a ritual to treat itas simply maintenance.

    Learning about your baby Diapering offers a perfect opportunity for you to truly absorb your baby’s cues and signals. You’ll learn how his little body works, what tickles him, what causes those tiny goose bumps. As you lift, move, and touch your baby, your hands will learn the map of his body and what’s normal for him. This is important because it will enable you to easily decipher any physical changes that need attention.

    Developing trust: Regular diaper changes create rhythm in your baby’s world and afford the sense that the world is safe and dependable. They are regular and consistent episodes in days that may not always be predictable. Your loving touches teach your baby that he is valued, and your gentle care teaches him that he is respected.

    A learning experience for your baby: Your baby does a lot of learning during diaper changes. It’s one of the few times that she actually sees her own body without clothes, when she can feel her complete movements without a wad of diaper between her legs. Diaper-off time is a great chance for her to stretch her limbs and learn how they move.

    During changing time, your baby is also a captive audience to your voice, so she can focus on what you are saying and how you are saying it — an important component of her language learning process. Likewise, for a precious few minutes, you are her captive audience, so you can focus on what she’s saying and how she is saying it — crucial to the growth of your relationship.

    What your baby thinks and feels: Many active babies could not care less if their diapers are clean. They’re too busy to concern themselves with such trivial issues. It may be important to you, but it’s not a priority for your child.

    Diaper rash or uncomfortable diapers (wrong size or bad fit) can make him dread diaper changes, so check these first. Once you’re sure all the practical issues are covered, make a few adjustments in this unavoidable process to make it more enjoyable.

    Take a deep breath. Given the number of diapers you have to change, it’s possible that what used to be a pleasant experience for you has gotten to be routine, or even worse, a hassle. When parents approach diaper changing in a brisk, no-nonsense way, it isn’t any fun for Baby.

    Try to reconnect with the bonding experience that diaper changing can be — a moment of calm in a busy day when you share one-on-one time with your baby.

    Have some fun. This is a great time to sing songs, blow tummy raspberries, or do some tickle and play. A little fun might take the dread out of diaper changes for both of you. A game that stays fresh for a long time is “hide the diaper.” Put a new diaper on your head, on your shoulder, or tucked in your shirt and ask, “Where’s the diaper? I can’t find it!” A fun twist is to give the diaper a name and a silly voice, and use it as a puppet. Let the diaper call your child to the changing station and have it talk to him as you change it. (If you get tired of making Mister Diaper talk, just remember what it was like before you tried the idea.)

    Use distraction. Keep a flashlight with your changing supplies and let your baby play with it while you change him. Some kids’ flashlights have a button to change the color of the light, or shape of the ray. Call this his “diaper flashlight” and put it away when the change is complete. You may find a different type of special toy that appeals to your little one, or even a basket of small interesting toys. If you reserve these only for diaper time, they can retain their novelty for a long time.

    Try a stand-up diaper. If your baby’s diaper is just wet (not messy), try letting her stand up while you do a quick change. If you’re using cloth diapers, have one leg pre-pinned so that you can slide it on like pants, or opt for pre-fitted diapers that don’t require pins.

    Time to potty train? If your child is old enough and seems ready for the next step, consider potty training.

    Teaching Your Baby The Value of Patience in An Inpatient World

    baby's organic nurseryI recently came across a post: The Long Term Rewards of UnderIndulgence on Green Baby Guide that addresses how new parents tend to over indulge and over stimulate their babies.  So many new Moms worry if they do not run out and buy the newest toy or participate in the latest trend- they would be depriving their baby- or even worse he or she may fall behind the other babies and be scarred for life!

    Imagine a scene now of your child 40 years from now sitting with a therapist: “I could have done better for myself Doc, but my parents did not get me the newest version of the electronic counting games when I was 6 months old….it ruined me!”   I think not! Of course we all mean well- but need to ask ourselves if babies really need so much “stuff” and would it be wiser to save the money we want to spend on the newest and fanciest and smartest new toys so we can teach them to value the more precious things in life.

    Is under indulgence the same thing as deprivation?  We think not!  Buying fewer, thoughtful gifts and treats for your child will allow him or her to have an enhanced sense of appreciation, plus you’ll be helping lighten the load on our planet and your pocketbook.

    I have commented on this line of thinking before.  Over the past years it has often been considered a keystone of good parenting to “push” your baby to walk, talk and read as early as possible. Surrounding them with learning toys to teach the alphabet or putting them in front of educational T.V at two months old forces our little ones to grow up at an alarming rate. I could quote lots of research but I prefer to speak Mother to Mother and ask you to allow your natural instincts, your intuition, to be your guide regarding whether what I am saying rings true for you.

    Our precious babies are born with senses that have not been tainted or tarnished by the world. They are a spiritual treasure and it is no wonder that everyone loves a new baby. So why can’t we allow a baby to be a baby?  What’s the hurry? We live in a hurried world and our babies often grow up to be hurried children. But it doesn’t have to be that way. Having a new baby gives us an opportunity to see the world through our babies’ eyes. We can take the time to quietly rock them to sleep, singing a lullaby, and surrounding them with peacefulness and calmness. You don’t need any money to do this or even a good voice.

    We can sit patiently and wait as they slowly open their eyes and begin to take in the world around them. We don’t need to surround them with expensive mobiles or clutter their cribs with all the latest stuffed animals. And most of all we can just enjoy our time with them and allow them to awaken to the world around at their own speed. Each baby is unique, each baby will learn to speak and walk in their own time. We can honor this time by being patient and protecting them from the inpatient world around us.

    Making Your Own Baby Food Is Easier Than You Think (And a Good Way to Save Money)

    So many new parents are challenged to find the right balance of solid foods for their infant or toddlers.  Unfortunately, many resort to unhealthy convenience foods filled with preservatives and other unnatural ingredients to feed to their new baby.  The process of introducing new foods to your baby can be a confusing maze filled with fear of choking, developing allergies or bad eating habits.  It is important to introduce your baby to healthy eating habits from the beginning to encourage life long health and nutrition.

    Making your own baby food is not as difficult or time consuming as you may think.  It allows the parent to be in control over the ingredients going into their baby’s system and can be a rewarding experience as you nourish your baby with fresh whole and nutritious foods.  An added bonus- you will save money when you invest in fresh ingredients over expensive processed baby food.   I found this video from with step by step directions and excellent tips!

    Let us know if you have any baby food tips or resources that have helped you!